Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Mountain Blues (NeWest: 2018) by Sean Arthur Joyce

Mountain Blues by Sean Arthur Joyce



“Well, I’m a reporter just new in town. Looking for work.”

So begins Roy Breen’s introduction to life in a small village in the West Kootenays, to the love of his life, to witnessing inspired community resistance to centralized decision-making and, fortuitously for them all, his new employer. While covering stories of all descriptions for the Mountain Echo, Roy Breen recovers from a hectic fifteen years as a Vancouver reporter. He’d paid his journalistic dues there only to be shunted away from a City Hall beat promotion by a lesser-paid cub reporter, no thanks to a change in ownership in the leaner, meaner millennium. Fed-up with this corporate treatment, Breen quits and heads to the British Columbia Interior where he was born and raised.

He and his cat spend some quality camping time roaming through four of B.C.’s six mountain chains before ending up in an old silver-mining village beside a glacier-fed lake, remarkably resembling New Denver merged with Silverton. The lyrical valley and village descriptions will make many readers want to quit their own stuffy, city-trapped jobs and move there themselves.

The Mountain Echo, moreover, still pays its writers and actually employs a proofreader and fact checker, which along with reference librarians, have been dismissed by metro dailies in Vancouver and elsewhere. But then the odds of running into the main antagonists at the previous evening’s meeting en route to the village Post Office is much higher in El Dorado as well and the new reporter in town has to tread carefully and tactfully.

The first major issue is the shocking announcement that the El Dorado Hospital will be shut down within weeks. Vans arrive, in a startling display of efficiency from the centralized health authority, to remove vital X-ray equipment. But the villagers are resourceful veterans of blockade lines and have organized a telephone tree which loops around the communities dependent on the emergency ward, the doctors, the extended care wing for bedridden elders and volunteers arrive by the dozens and stay there round the clock.

We are introduced to the many and varied forms of peaceful resistance from individual hunger strikes to protest “crawls”, yes, not walks but crawls which are more commonplace in religious approaches by supplicants near cathedrals in South America, on their knees as they cross stony plazas. We go behind the scenes to understand how difficult it is for a level-headed co-ordinator to deal with highly individualistic types who threaten violence and sabotage and would thereby threaten the credibility of the entire protest. We also understand more about the conflict and ethical considerations of our reporter-narrator who has always tilted to the side of the underdogs and been reprimanded for it in the big city daily. But here he puts a writerly foot wrong once and is hollered at most profanely by the normally level-headed organizer herself, a statuesque beauty who is a natural leader in the community. We also get to meet the public relations bureaucrat from the regional health authority who must deliver the bad news about the hospital closure and he, as you might suspect, gets his comeuppance soon enough.

Throughout it all, Sean Arthur Joyce uses a light, deft touch for topics that could be heavily righteous slogging. His characters are completely 3-D and his dialogue is a delight to ‘hear’ as it is so realistic in its rhythms, which sets each distinct character apart from the next, no easy feat. The humour is gentle and tolerant and reminds us that when we live in a small community, the most sound advice would be: Let your words be gentle in case they come back to bite you. For a journalist, this means striving for fairness, depth and objectivity and not ‘piling on’ the blame in this era of rushing to often-violent judgement, propelled by self-serving, vindictive and ultimately irresponsible tweets.

The love story which unfolds is also a delight and we readers cheer on the middle-aged lonely hearts who are instantly attracted and find each other to be excellent company in the midst of the strife afflicting the villagers. The cafes in El Dorado serve great coffee, even if the wait-staff tend to editorialize the hapless new reporter’s latest efforts, and the mountain water is sublimely pure, the basis for all great coffee, lest we forget. Pack your bags and head for the West Kootenay mountains, especially the Valhalla Range, a copy of the big-hearted Mountain Blues nearby, best read aloud by kindred spirits en route, especially those in need of that special blend of glorious wilderness and resolutely alive, no-nonsense, ‘stand up to protect it or lose it forever’, community that beckons within its pages.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Goodreads Giveaway for Light Years: Memoir of a Modern Lighthouse Keeper AND/OR a Rant About Technology

Bear with me as I am still struggling with the 'user-friendly' Apple system...which, after 27 years of slow, medium and fast PCs, is not all it's cracked up to be.

My PC photo albums, easily accessible by date and/or by name, suddenly became over five thousand individual photos on my Mac. Which I now have to figure out how to coalesce back into albums when I least have the time for doing this extremely time-sucking chore.

Next discovery: I cannot transfer my Goodreads book reviews to this blog like I used to  do because suddenly a school district blog site I worked with three days after getting this MacBook Pro proclaims itself as "my" go-to blog-site. I somehow have to find a way to de-link, sign out or otherwise block that site and make this my go-to site. Don't ask me how. 

Did I mention that I've never taken a computer course in my life? And that I am not fascinated by technical matters at all? I don't care how stuff works. I just want it to work. Or that it's hard enough for me just to think a coherent thought and to express that elusive insight/connection/wisdom in words as clearly and eloquently as possible and to keep doing that, sentence after sentence, until I have a book? 

If I was filthy rich, I would have People who would do all this computer trouble-shooting/social media stuff. My job is to write, not to figure out technology and its love of constant change. I'm from the "If It's Not Broke, Don't Fix It" school of life and work. I prefer hand tools to power tools as well, no big surprise there. Less mangling, noise, fumes, expense and things that go wrong. I prefer more careful, peaceful, observant work. Meditation with a hoe in my hand, or secateurs. A tool I can sharpen and oil and otherwise fix by myself through many decades of use.

My dear and supportive husband and house-mate grew weary of hearing my profanities blasting through the walls of my writing office and ordered a copy of iPhoto: the missing manual which seems like a good book except it doesn't tell me how to downsize a photo so that I can change my five year old author photo on the Goodreads site, which tells me the new photo is too big and/or the wrong dimension. The book is thick. I just want to fix this one small problem, how to downsize one *&^%$#! photo, which should be in the index along with hundreds of other tips. But of course, it's not. Someone assumes we all know how to do this and the authors have merrily skipped over this basic information. As have the blithely no-manual, "psst: Can I sell you an add-on app you don't really need?" Apple folks. Intuitive capitalists, the lot of them!

I do not have time to read a thick manual on technology when I'm supposed to be letting the world know, via social media, about my new book and writing a 30 minute script to accompany a slide show of lighthouse images by the D&S husband... I'm going to email or call the human being we bought this over-hyped computer from and ask him how to downsize a photo in order to upload it to Goodreads.

Oh, right, go to my Goodreads site if you're a member there since I can't transfer the widget for free books to my own blog here. That is, if you'd like to enter to win a free copy of my memoir. Hard cover. Gorgeous cover. Very good quality colour separation and b&w contrast for Jeff's photos as well. It's beautiful to look at, thanks to the human beings at Harbour Publishing who have the skill and experience to wed content (and who pay for three sets of editors and a designer to work on each book) with technology to publish books they believe in. Thank you, Harbour! 

See? I start out kvetching and end up with gratitude. That's the way I work through the need to vent my spleen. Get to a good place with it, poke fun at my limited skill set, and move on! As they say on the radio, thanks for listening.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

On Red Enamel Guard Rails and Other Mishaps

There are two seasons on the lights, as we grizzled lighthouse keepers refer to working and living on a B.C. lightstation in the 21st century...and in the preceding centuries. Winter = months of rain and high winds running the gamut from frisky gales to borderline hurricane force and keeping the roofs on, hatches battened and fixing tools and equipment within the warm and dry workshop building, solid and sound since 1904.

Summer=lawn mowing and painting and hedge-trimming and gardening, which means planting, protecting, watering, harvesting, replanting if the fox sparrows have succeeded in finding a hole in the chicken wire or a gap in the remay cloth. There are not quite enough hours in the day when it's a dry day. Start bread, water greenhouse. Water new plantings and pick another batch of snow peas to freeze. Get started on phase two of the bread. Time to paint the many, many metres of guard rail with red enamel paint. Hours spent, many upside down, painting with nose filled with fumes and knees and back adjusting to the task. Groaning out loud helps. It's a grotty, messy job best shared with another lightkeeper to keep the momentum going, like all onerous tasks in life. 

But for two days now, despite wearing my ancient sun hat, I have managed to get red enamel paint on my hair. Yes. The first time it happened I was taking a break from the sweltering heat of the work to do my afternoon weather report observations in the radio room. I took my hat off and ran my hand through my sweaty bangs and tugged at my ponytail. My damp, stiff ponytail. The red paint was drying rapidly while I watched the wind anemometer to see if it really was gusting in five knot jumps or if it was just puttering between 17 and 21 knots at an unhurried pace. I had the sky, the height of the waves, the size of the swell all figured out and noted, but I always leave the wind speed for the last observation. NW19, I noted in the logbook and raced to the shelves of the workshop in the room right next to the radio room. Enamel is oil-based not water-based and we all know what that means.... my eyes scanned the shelves.

Ship-2-Shore Industrial. A large plastic tub proclaims that it stops rust and corrosion, it penetrates and lubricates. It was recommended for anchor chains and bilges, for ships and barges. I passed on this one.
W-D40 and 3-in-1 oil, both Lightkeeper's Friends and often used but not for this hair job. Ditto Never-Seez, an anti-seize and lubricating compound which "assures absolute parts protection" against extreme heat, over 2000 F., and I found this most useful to know, it protects against "Fretting, Galling & Galvanic Pitting". 

I plan to take a can of this stuff to my grave in case I end up in Hell where it surely would come in handy. I passed on it for now and frantically sped up my eyeballs past the Plastic Dip, the Instant Patch, Bondo-Glue and finally, a slim can of turpentine on a lower shelf saved the day. Or at least a chunk of my hair. While Nootka and Estevan lightkeepers gave their weather reports to the MCTS in Prince Rupert, I dabbed turpentine on my ponytail, trying not to think of melting my hair into a strange clump, and delivered my weather data with what I hoped was a calm and steady voice. Then I headed back to the land bridge to help Jeff pack up the painting supplies and get the brushes into yogurt containers filled with gas to keep them pliable overnight. 

I had nice Aveeda shampoo and conditioner and a hot shower in mind for myself.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Poem #17 for Poetry Month-Humorous Free Verse



 This one is from my poetry file, I must confess, and is great fun to read aloud before I start a public reading or end one. I'm working on saving it to memory (mine, not this computer's) as that is always so much better for audiences-and poems- than the usual poet-head-down-drone.

The only thing worse is the poet affecting a weird breathy poet voice and prancing around the stage with one finger held up to make tiny beats with said finger in the air but still with the head down and eyes glued only to the precious page. How I wish I was making this up.

But no, as with hockey, it's always wise to keep one's head up, to look other people in the eye and exchange conspiratorial grins. Poetry is supposed to be about us human beings after all. It's supposed to make us think, cry, and laugh. We can always do with more laughing.
I'm sure some people were snickering at two lightkeepers on the loose in Chicago, seen here trying to photograph themselves in the giant metal jellybean, a wonderful public art sculpture in a park filled with them. We are disoriented but still having a great time on our Amtrak Blues, Festivals & BBQ trip of 2012.



Lighthouse Keeper Goes to the City
     (for Kathryn MacLeod)

I don’t get out much
anymore & nearly got myself killed
last time in Victoria crossing
a street my friend calling out
‘Oh, Caroline, wait,’ or words
to that effect & I, yakking
away as is my wont, didn’t
notice the red light green light
business but a young mum in a Sport
Ute with compressed lips, the mum,
not the Ute, glared at me
but had the decency to stand
on her brakes & thus, I stand
before you here today Bedazzled
which is better than the alternative
which would be, sadly, for me at least,
Defunct.